#155 / 2010 Winter: Panama City

A WEEK TO REST UP 

#155

It has taken five days for reality to sink in. Now I am feeling less splintered, polarized. I have been able to rein my thoughts in. Now we can sleep together, touch each other. We are at our best spiritually when we are joined at the hip. I certainly feel stronger now.

The day before Thanksgiving we got Beatlick Joe out of the hospital and we head down the beach towards Panama City Beach where we will get set up again in wZ's big RV. The doctor can't see Joe until next Wednesday so we have a whole week to charge our batteries.

Joe put on some boots to wear out of the hospital. We took the great drive down 30A towards our destination. Joe needed stamps just across the street from where we found a parking spot. But that short walk really caused him a lot of pain. His ankle is still so swollen and painful; this will continue for a while according to the doctor.

The most frightening thing for me is giving Joe shots twice a day. The medication is Lovenox, very expensive, and NM insurance actually paid for it all with no copay. So on Thanksgiving we really had a lot to be grateful for: the  hospiral dedicated to the poor, no co-pay on the medications.

WZ has given us a book called "At the Feet of the Master." We both read it for some inspriation. When Joe entered the hospital he was asked if he would mind if a religious representative. He said fine. We made jokes about some minister getting an easy conversion out of him, but no one ever stopped by. Too bad. He was in the mood.

We do hold onto some ritual and prayer. We are spiritual people in our own minds. At the Feet of th Master, the master beingAlcyone (J. Krishnamurti.)

From the unreal lead me to the Real.

From the darkness lead me to Light.

from death lead me to Immortality.

Foreward:

These are not my words; they are the words of the Master who taught me...I have set my feet upon the Path. Three are four qualifications:

Discrimination

Desirelessness

Good conduct

Love

To hear the Master's words is not enuogh, you must do what he says, attending to every word, taking every hint. If a hint is not taken, if a word is missed, it is lost forever; for He does not speak twice.

In all the world there are only two kinds of people--those who know, and those who do not know; and this knowledge is the thing which matters. What religion a man holds, to what race he belongs-these things are not important; the real important thing is this knowledge-the knowledge of God's plan for men. For God has a plan and it is evolution. WHen once a man has seen that and really knows it

When he is on God's side  he is one of us, and it does not matter in the least, whether he calls himself a Hindu, or a buddhist, a Christian or a Muhammadan, whether he is an Indian or an Englishman, a Chinaman or a Russian.

Well, it's heavy thinking but we are preparing ourselves for Wednesday and to be ready to accept whatever the doctor says. It is all in God's hands.

And this is Joe's fight not mine. So I am at peace with the fact I can only support him, be of good cheer and give him those damned shots. Today is beautiful. We will go pick up the rest of Joe's medicine, probably over a thousand dollars worth of medication just for one month. We joke he may be riding in a 30-year-old VW bus but he is injecting Rolls Royce quality medicine.